One Piece of Bold Advice That Instantly Brought Me More Happiness
I have anxiety that I’m pretty good at managing and pretty great at hiding. I’ve lived most of my life fearing when the other shoe will drop. I’ve imagined thousands of bad outcomes from every life situation: parenting, marriage, health, career, terrorism, you name it.
When I’m really stressed out, I get acid reflux, toss and turn at night, and even develop the occasional eye twitch.
In my wedding photos I have big, splotchy red hives on my décolletage. I felt nauseous before my 30th birthday party, my kids’ high school graduations, and nearly every plane trip I’ve taken in my life.
I once thought my heart was going to explode when I stood up to give a speech in front of less than a dozen people at my local Toastmasters. When I started my own company giving paid speeches and workshops (bright idea, right?) the entire first year my legs shook and my hands trembled. I thought “my knees were knocking” was just an expression — it is not!
My body is no stranger to the physiological effects of anxiety. However, it doesn’t just stress out my body, it also stresses out my soul. If I don’t manage my overactive worry gene, I get down, mopey, and stuck.
Sometimes I lack motivation. Other times I get overwhelmed and just want to give up; I start the negative thinking spiral; I wallow; I’m not fun to be around. It’s not pretty, and I’m not proud, but I also know I’m not alone.
In my work, I’ve run across many people who are challenged by these same things. They want to live a vibrant, meaningful, positive life but somewhere along the way they get stuck — overwhelmed and overworked.
They start surviving instead of thriving. Days, weeks, and months can be lost in the cycle of stress and anxiety. Precious time that we could be using to contribute to building a more positive world and more meaningful relationships is sacrificed at the altar of these negative emotions.
I’ve developed my own set of coping mechanisms that have helped me have way more good days than bad days, but one piece of advice that I read somewhere along the way has helped me considerably; it’s simple and profound:
LOVE THE DAY YOU HAVE
To me, this means loving the day no matter what it is you’re feeling or experiencing. It’s making the best of it even when you feel overwhelmed and stressed out. It’s doing what you can and being ok with letting the rest go. It’s being kind to yourself and getting out of the loop of thinking that if you have a bad day, you’ve somehow failed. It’s breaking the habit of feeling guilty and beating yourself up.
The LOVE THE DAY YOU HAVE mindset has helped me to keep things in perspective and minimize the anxiety that can keep me stuck. It’s helped me to be happier because it reminds me that happiness can be found in small things throughout the day.
We all have days where we struggle. When you love the day you have like you would love a kid that’s having a bad day, you become much more patient with the days you feel off or things aren’t going your way. Loving the day you haveis training yourself to see the beauty in imperfection.
And on the flip side, this advice also reminds me to love and embrace the great days too. There are plenty of those in my life, and being kinder to myself on the days that aren’t so great reminds me to truly soak in and enjoy the bright and happy days.
How can you love the day you have today? Maybe it’s by being kind to yourself or being kind to someone else. Maybe it’s by letting go of something you really wanted to get done but you just can’t seem to muster up the energy. You can try again tomorrow. Maybe it’s by reading words of encouragement or finding time to meditate or pray. Maybe it’s by getting in your favorite comfy pajamas and watching a favorite show. Maybe it’s doing a random act of kindness for someone else or sending a loving text or email to a friend.
By giving yourself permission to love the day AS IS, you’re much more likely to get back on track and have a better day the next day.
Love the Day You Have. Today.
